I’m reading a book right now called “Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners & Sufferers” by Dane Ortlund and it’s about the heart of who Jesus is. I’ve just begun reading the book and I want to share an excerpt from chapter 2, titled “His Heart in Action.”
“What we see Jesus claim with his words in Matthew 11:29, we see him prove with his actions time and time again in all four Gospels. What he is, he does. He cannot act any other way. His life proves his heart.”
Full stop. How many times in a relationship, whether that be romantic, friendship, or family, do we trust someone’s words and assume their actions will match their words? In a perfect world, this would be true 100% of the time. But, we live in a fallen world where sin is prevalent and people say one thing but do another.
Read that last line from the book again: “His life proves his heart.”
My own counselor, who has been helping me through betrayal trauma, keeps trying to get me to see that just because someone says something doesn’t mean anything. I need to look at their actions, not simply trust their words.
That’s why when I was reading this book tonight and came across that text, it really jolted the realization that to be like Jesus, we each need to have our actions match our promises and words.
Does this hit home for you in some way? Maybe someone has repeatedly used words to soothe your suspicions about cheating or dishonesty, only to discover that your suspicions were right all along and your partner’s actions didn’t match their promises. Maybe a spouse has broken wedding vows, or, on a lesser extent, promised change but then reverted back to the same unhealthy behavior over and over again.
People aren’t perfect, and we all deserve grace & forgiveness. However, true forgiveness means the person you are forgiving has also repented and turned away from their wrongdoing. God calls us to repent first, and then forgiveness is offered. But, repentance doesn’t mean going back to the wrong thing and doing it over and over. And I get that there’s a fine line – someone struggling with sin and truly seeking to change is very different than someone who says they are sorry but their actions remain unchanged.
This is a gentle reminder, for myself and for anyone else who this may apply to – listen not just to the words spoken to you, but look that the actions match the words.
If you’re dating, can you honestly say “Their life matches their words” and “Their life proves their heart”? It’s a good standard by which to measure the integrity of a person.
And how about for ourselves? Does our own life match our words? Do we say we trust God, but then refuse to tithe because we fear losing any of our hard-earned money? Do we say we love our neighbor, but then never extend a helping hand or a warm smile? Do we say we value honesty, but then justify that white lie?
May our lives prove our heart, and may our actions, not just our words, be pleasing in God’s eyes.
Take a moment to ask God to show you if there is anything in your own life where your actions may not be matching your words. Do this not from shame, but from humility and vulnerability, being willing to allow God to change your heart and speak into your life today.
“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” – Matthew 11:29 (NIV)
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